Атмосферные физики шутят
Apr. 1st, 2005 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuccaИз спецвыпуска нашего внутреннего бюллетеня: Гороскоп.
На самом деле это написали редакторы бюллетеня. Физики, наверно, шутят лучше :)
ARIES
For more than 50 years, scientists have sought to explain why theoretical calculations suggest it should take twice as much time for raindrops to form in clouds as it actually takes in reality. Obviously, they aren’t aware that every individual creates his or her own reality (duh!), so the question is clearly just one of those silly mental exercises that scientists come up with. Today, go out and create your own reality.
TAURUS
Here’s something to think about today: The amount of time it takes Earth to complete one revolution around the Sun is 1 year (365 days and 5 hours). On Mercury, one rotation around the Sun takes only 0.24 Earth years. It follows that a 50-year-old Earthling is actually 12 years old in “Mercury years.” So you can be young again. Just remember to use your Earth age the next time you get carded.
GEMINI
Have you suffered through another failed relationship? Apparently you slept through Remote Sensing 101: significant others keep breaking up with you because you don’t even remotely sense how they feel. You need to enroll in a continuing education program called Applied Remote Sensing: Getting a Remote Clue.
CANCER
So your boss thinks you don’t show much enthusiasm on the job? Take a cue from Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician and engineer. Legend has it that Archimedes discovered his famous theory of buoyancy while taking a bath. He was so excited that he ran naked through the streets of Syracuse shouting, "Eureka, eureka!” (“I have found it!”) Today, see if any brilliant new ideas bob to the surface.
LEO
Thinking about getting a haircut today? One of the great mysteries of science is the Permian extinction of about 14-17 years ago. This is the era when permed hair finally went out of style, sometime between the late 1980s and early 1990s. Scientists have speculated that as many as 96% of permed hairstyles may have disappeared, along with about three-quarters of “big bangs” and virtually all hairspray. It appears the extinction has something to do with the dawn of the Grunge Era, although scientists don’t agree on the cause. But they have reached consensus that humanity is much better off for the Permian extinction.
VIRGO
What do the following have in common: zonda, puelche, halny wiatr, koembang, Santa Ana, chinook, sirocco, ghibli, leveche, simoom, kamsin, and samiel? These are types of wind that blow a lot of hot air, which is exactly what you’ve been doing lately. Get ready to put up or shut up.
LIBRA
Giovanni Schiaparelli was an Italian astronomer during the late 1800s who observed patterned, straight lines on the surface of Mars. He called them canali, Italian for channels. The word canali was translated incorrectly into canals, which implied that artificial structures existed on Mars. This caused a flood of study about the Red Planet, with many scientists expecting to find life there. It’s like seeing the word antipasto on the menu at an Italian restaurant and wondering if the chef is ideologically opposed to pasta, when it’s really just Italian for appetizer. Today’s a good day to work on your communication skills.
SCORPIO
When a parcel of air flows north from the Equator, its path veers to the right because of the Coriolis force, a function of Earth’s rotation. The Coriolis isn’t a real force but an apparent one, because it depends on your perspective. From your vantage point, it may look like you’re doing the “right” thing today, but make sure your view isn’t being swayed by unseen forces: ask someone for a second opinion.
SAGITTARIUS
At a certain altitude above the surface of a small moon, a ball is thrown and travels so fast and so far before falling that the ground curves away at the same rate that the ball drops. The ball has thus achieved orbit. Your next vacation will provide the same sense of escape.
CAPRICORN
Today there is an equilibrium between a magnetic field contained in a cylindrical volume (aligned with the cylinder axis) surrounded by plasma at rest (u = 0). There is no plasma inside the boundary r = r0 and no magnetic field outside of it. Whenever the current density vanishes (J = 0) the field becomes potential (B = ΠØb = 0) and the magnetic tension and pressure gradient forces must balance (F = J^B = ÿ¥ß). Wear sensible shoes and be ready for anything.
AQUARIUS
Next time you get a speeding ticket on 47th Street, try explaining to the City of Boulder that Earth is rushing through space around the Sun at a rate of about 67,000 mph. That should put 45 mph into perspective.
PISCES
According to an Earth science textbook, “Astrology is based on ancient superstitions that hold that an individual’s actions and personality are based on the positions of the planets and stars now and at the person’s birth. Scientists do not accept astrology, regarding it as a pseudoscience (‘false science’). It is hoped that most people read horoscopes only as a pastime and do not let them influence daily living.” There you have it. Stop reading this and get back to doing “real” science.
На самом деле это написали редакторы бюллетеня. Физики, наверно, шутят лучше :)
ARIES
For more than 50 years, scientists have sought to explain why theoretical calculations suggest it should take twice as much time for raindrops to form in clouds as it actually takes in reality. Obviously, they aren’t aware that every individual creates his or her own reality (duh!), so the question is clearly just one of those silly mental exercises that scientists come up with. Today, go out and create your own reality.
TAURUS
Here’s something to think about today: The amount of time it takes Earth to complete one revolution around the Sun is 1 year (365 days and 5 hours). On Mercury, one rotation around the Sun takes only 0.24 Earth years. It follows that a 50-year-old Earthling is actually 12 years old in “Mercury years.” So you can be young again. Just remember to use your Earth age the next time you get carded.
GEMINI
Have you suffered through another failed relationship? Apparently you slept through Remote Sensing 101: significant others keep breaking up with you because you don’t even remotely sense how they feel. You need to enroll in a continuing education program called Applied Remote Sensing: Getting a Remote Clue.
CANCER
So your boss thinks you don’t show much enthusiasm on the job? Take a cue from Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician and engineer. Legend has it that Archimedes discovered his famous theory of buoyancy while taking a bath. He was so excited that he ran naked through the streets of Syracuse shouting, "Eureka, eureka!” (“I have found it!”) Today, see if any brilliant new ideas bob to the surface.
LEO
Thinking about getting a haircut today? One of the great mysteries of science is the Permian extinction of about 14-17 years ago. This is the era when permed hair finally went out of style, sometime between the late 1980s and early 1990s. Scientists have speculated that as many as 96% of permed hairstyles may have disappeared, along with about three-quarters of “big bangs” and virtually all hairspray. It appears the extinction has something to do with the dawn of the Grunge Era, although scientists don’t agree on the cause. But they have reached consensus that humanity is much better off for the Permian extinction.
VIRGO
What do the following have in common: zonda, puelche, halny wiatr, koembang, Santa Ana, chinook, sirocco, ghibli, leveche, simoom, kamsin, and samiel? These are types of wind that blow a lot of hot air, which is exactly what you’ve been doing lately. Get ready to put up or shut up.
LIBRA
Giovanni Schiaparelli was an Italian astronomer during the late 1800s who observed patterned, straight lines on the surface of Mars. He called them canali, Italian for channels. The word canali was translated incorrectly into canals, which implied that artificial structures existed on Mars. This caused a flood of study about the Red Planet, with many scientists expecting to find life there. It’s like seeing the word antipasto on the menu at an Italian restaurant and wondering if the chef is ideologically opposed to pasta, when it’s really just Italian for appetizer. Today’s a good day to work on your communication skills.
SCORPIO
When a parcel of air flows north from the Equator, its path veers to the right because of the Coriolis force, a function of Earth’s rotation. The Coriolis isn’t a real force but an apparent one, because it depends on your perspective. From your vantage point, it may look like you’re doing the “right” thing today, but make sure your view isn’t being swayed by unseen forces: ask someone for a second opinion.
SAGITTARIUS
At a certain altitude above the surface of a small moon, a ball is thrown and travels so fast and so far before falling that the ground curves away at the same rate that the ball drops. The ball has thus achieved orbit. Your next vacation will provide the same sense of escape.
CAPRICORN
Today there is an equilibrium between a magnetic field contained in a cylindrical volume (aligned with the cylinder axis) surrounded by plasma at rest (u = 0). There is no plasma inside the boundary r = r0 and no magnetic field outside of it. Whenever the current density vanishes (J = 0) the field becomes potential (B = ΠØb = 0) and the magnetic tension and pressure gradient forces must balance (F = J^B = ÿ¥ß). Wear sensible shoes and be ready for anything.
AQUARIUS
Next time you get a speeding ticket on 47th Street, try explaining to the City of Boulder that Earth is rushing through space around the Sun at a rate of about 67,000 mph. That should put 45 mph into perspective.
PISCES
According to an Earth science textbook, “Astrology is based on ancient superstitions that hold that an individual’s actions and personality are based on the positions of the planets and stars now and at the person’s birth. Scientists do not accept astrology, regarding it as a pseudoscience (‘false science’). It is hoped that most people read horoscopes only as a pastime and do not let them influence daily living.” There you have it. Stop reading this and get back to doing “real” science.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 02:56 am (UTC)я не читаю на этом языке :(((
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 02:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 06:32 pm (UTC)а можно?
я водолей :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-04 04:36 pm (UTC)But you are right, it is boring.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-04 05:38 pm (UTC)"Следующий раз, когда ваш оптрафуют за превышение скорости на 47-й улице, объясните городским властям, что Земля вертится вокруг Солнца со скоростью 67000 миль в час. Это поможет им взглянуть по-другому на 45 миль в час."
(на 47 улице стоит скрытая камера, я сама там два раза на штраф нарывалась)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-04 06:24 pm (UTC)буду осторожна :-)