English is a crazy language.
Jan. 27th, 2005 10:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuccaLet’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in a hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seen crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don’t preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the complete lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill a form by filling it out and in which and alarm clock goes off by going on.
All languages are created by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of cource, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Update: текст оказался народный, но все ж красивый, так что оставлю.
Update 2: Автор - Richard Lederer
Update 3: Вопрос с авторством окончательно запутался, ждите продолжения.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seen crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don’t preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the complete lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill a form by filling it out and in which and alarm clock goes off by going on.
All languages are created by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of cource, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Update: текст оказался народный, но все ж красивый, так что оставлю.
Update 2: Автор - Richard Lederer
Update 3: Вопрос с авторством окончательно запутался, ждите продолжения.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 06:49 pm (UTC)http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22There+is+no+egg+in+eggplant+nor+ham+in+a+hamburger%22
где первоисточник, выяснить уже, кажется невозможно. я не все прочла, только начало. может она специально?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-28 06:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-29 01:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 07:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 07:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-01-27 11:09 pm (UTC)